I'm bad. I'm always manipulative. Of situations, of God-given rules.
All, for what? Well the beginning reasons were all for the good - so that I could simulate certain situations to make myself stronger. It was a way of teaching myself and disciplining me as I was almost self-taught on non-academic knowledge and was a loner during childhood.
I would force bad thoughts onto myself and wouldn't accept good things, only to discipline myself. But by then the reasons began to eat into me and it became an addictive habit. Now its really eaten into my life and is destroying it. Its affecting other lives too!
Maybe God would have had a purpose of doing that through me. But now I realise my bad habit and I also realise the power of God which makes everything happen in this world of illusions. So I now know the only truth - God. The only power is God.
He is the only aim worth having, because its He who does everything. So what I should be doing is to think of Him always and sing His praise wherever I go. All other material benefits would come and go - they are illusions of His making after all. In all this, only He is constant throughout time. Sages say our souls are eternal too and is a part of Him.
There's still a lot more to learn and to realise by this little person who is not even a quark in the ocean of His universe. So much to understand that even 100% usage of the human brain can't understand. But we can definitely make ourselves get to the point of transcending to the realm that would make us understand it. And thats only through the meditation of the One Truth.